How & Why to Make Your Own Manager Happier
Most leaders view meeting or exceeding their goals as THE way to warm their boss’s heart.
“I just need to beat my annual targets, right!? Then I, my boss, and my direct reports will all live happily ever after.”
While that may be true, it is not the whole story. In real life, you’ve got to nurture a strong relationship with your manager that holds up through thick and thin. The extent to which your manager likes and respects and trusts you — when the chips are down OR up — can make a tangible difference in your leadership success. If you’ve built a strongly positive, resilient relationship with your boss, your initiatives may benefit from a larger share of that leader’s financial resources, time, information, advice, ideas, and influencing skills (not to mention their forgiveness when you or your team hit a bump in the road).
So how do you cultivate a stronger relationship with your boss?
Beyond the obvious (i.e. hitting your next project out of the ballpark), I’d recommend you bring some of the very same relationship-building approaches you use with your direct reports to the table. In “5 Ways to Make Your Boss Happy – It’s Not What You Think” leadership guru Michael Rogers outlines several great ways to fortify your relationship with your boss. They should sound eerily familiar if you’ve recently been collecting ways to enrich relationships with direct reports.
1. Recognize and appreciate. As Rogers writes: “My experience has been that most bosses are rarely recognized and appreciated by those they lead. It’s as if they should magically know how their team feels about them.” When I share upward 360 feedback with managers, I find they’re often “to the moon” delighted to get evidence that their team members like what they’re trying to do. But why wait for upward formal review processes? Catch your boss in the act of doing something you appreciate or admire this week— even if it is a small thing – and call them out on it!
2. Take an interest. As Rogers puts it: “taking an interest in your manager says you care, just as it does when you take an interest in those you lead. It also might very well surprise you how taking an interest in your boss’s background, family, and life helps you understand why they do some of the things they do.”
3. Be happy. A somber, down-to-business, let’s-get-serious tone and expression is fine – but an enthusiastic, confident attitude is even better. They’re not mutually exclusive. Communicate with good cheer or a smile; it’s infectious. Don’t let “glass-half-empty” pessimism overwhelm your conversations.
4. Empathize. If you think it is tough being you, imagine being in your boss’s shoes! It’s unlikely you’re exposed to his or her toughest moments, but use your imagination. Showing your boss you understand and empathize will strengthen your relationship.
5. Don’t whine. Enough said. Arrive at your boss’s doorstep not just with a list of problems and complaints, but with suggested solutions. Or better yet, says Rogers, “come to them with the problem already solved.”
Don’t underestimate the value of a flourishing, trusting, mutually-satisfying relationship with your boss. Nourish that relationship consciously, not just by doing good work, but through tried-and-true relationship-building approaches like those listed above.
Who knows, your own team members may catch you in the act of being a great direct report…and adopt equally appealing new ways of interacting with you.
About the author
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